I have this really, really bad habit of trying to commit to too many things at once. I get an idea for a project and, unable to wait until I finish what I've already started (or, y'know, my homework), I add it to my to-do list and try to carve as much time out of my already chaotic schedule to work on it. Then I look at all the stuff I have to do, get super stressed, and push everything to the back of my mind in order to play Sims for four hours.
It's a never ending cycle, unfortunately, and what's worse is that it kind of dips into an endless cycle of self-loathing. I start to think poorly of myself, because clearly I am a super human being who should be more than capable of working on doing writing two papers, five blog posts, and a chapter of my novel in a week.
I'm trying to get better at picking my battles. That's why I dropped Japanese earlier in the month--it was like I was trying to give myself permission to let some things go, even if I didn't necessarily want to. It's why I let myself just not blog, first for a day or two, and then for an entire week. (Although that was mostly an accident and completely unintended.) It's why I've labelled things like my Christmas blog as low risk, low commitment.
My Christmas blog--which I created in 2014 and for some reason never talk about, even though I often view it as my pride and joy--is one of my most casual projects. Normally when I jump into something, I jump all in, but my Christmas blog is rarely like that. I take advantage of the fact that it's hosted on Tumblr, which has become a fairly unique form of blogging. It relies almost entirely on reblogs from others, with very little original content created by Yours Truly.
And it's really, really nice. Because I get to follow all these other Christmas blogs, and my dashboard is filled with wintertime goodness all year long, and I'm able to post on there about my favourite holiday whenever I please. And yes, I have things I want to do with it, content I would love to make. But I don't have to. If I don't, it's not a big deal. This is one of the first times I've ever had a project that I wasn't 100% invested in to the point of stress-induced freak outs.
I think it's important to have projects like this. Because now, when I feel stressed beyond belief and can't stand to write another academic word, I have something that I can turn to and have fun with. I can fiddle around with it, and because it's so low-stress, it doesn't feel like work. But at the same time, I don't feel like I'm twiddling my thumbs and wasting time, like when I'm playing Sims. I have the benefit of feeling productive, while still having that sense of a much-needed break between assignments.
And it's really, really nice.
Until later,
- Justyne
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