My name is Justyne, and I am in love...with office supplies.
When I was younger, and still attended public school, I put on this huge show of not wanting summer to end. I complained about school coming up, I protested our back-to-school Winnipeg shopping trip, I made a face every time I saw any back-to-school advertisement, or a pack of pencils on sale at Wal-Mart. But all the while, I was hiding an immense secret.
I loved it. Every second of it. I loved the fresh paper, the new notebooks, the pens that were ripe and full of ink for me to scrawl onto every scrap piece of parchment I could find. I loved shopping for new clothes, even though they were all sweaters that I knew I wouldn't be able to wear for another month yet. I even loved packing up my backpack on the first day, preparing for another year of learning.
I love shopping for school and office supplies. I love buying post-it notes, even though I always lose them before I use them. I love buying pens, even though I have such a huge stash that I could probably get by without ever having to buy a new pack again. I love buying pencils, even though I only use them for exams. I love buying notebooks, even though I have an iPad and take all my notes digitally, now, because I can type three times faster than I can write.
And for the longest time, I didn't know why. Why did I love buying these things? Why, even when I was out of school, did I feel the urge to buy every agenda, every pack of highlighters and binder I saw? Why is Staples one of my favourite stores to fall prey to capitalism for?
It gave me this feeling, this air of satisfaction that I couldn't place or name for the longest time...until someone named it for me. Some random stranger on the internet, some Tumblr user for whom I will probably never learn the username of, was able to accurately describe this feeling that I've always been at a loss for.
This person, whose username I've long since forgotten, called it, "The illusion of productivity."
And they were so freaking right.
Everytime I find myself in Staples, buying school supplies, I'm imagining a better life for myself. Because if I buy these post-its, these pens, this abnormally large box of multi-coloured paper clips, surely I'll be a more productive person, right? Simply the presence of this shiny new box of supplies will do wonders for my motivation, right?
Except not really. It never quite works out that way. I'll use the pens, sure, but it won't magically make my life any better. And does anyone even really need that many paper clips?
Yet the cycle always starts anew, every time I enter the store. I am tempted by the organizers, the planners, the label makers (because I am apparently in dire need of a label maker, according to my heart). Any possible item that holds the possibility of incresed organization, you can find me drooling over.
And still, my life remains an unorganized mess. C'est la vie, I guess.
Until later,
- Justyne
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