Greetings from the Past!

Hello, my dear readers! Once again, I have abandoned you to go on vacation. This time, I'm in Disney World. Yes, Disney World. Be jealous.

The next few blog posts, will be pre-written and pre-uploaded before I leave for my trip. While there is wifi on the resort...well, I'll be in Disney World. I'll be too busy partying with Mickey to worry about blogging.

(I will, however, brag about it on Twitter. Should it happen.)

(I'll also upload pictures. Should it happen.)


I did this whole scheduling-blog-posts-ahead-of-time thing last time I went on vacation, and honestly, I really love this feature. I've actually been doing it for other blog posts, not just ones I've scheduled before a trip. (In case you didn't notice, the last few uploads have been going up at exactly 4 pm, every time. Not a coincidence. I'm not THAT consistent.) It's a great way to make sure that my blog posts go up on time, and that I don't miss any because of my stubborn, uncooperative brain. Or my procrastination and general laziness.

It's also nice to know that it's done, y'know? I don't have to worry about it, or scramble to come up with an idea at the last minute.

I might have to do this more often.


For today's question...ARE YOU ALL JEALOUS THAT I'M IN DISNEY WORLD? (Don't even lie, I know you are.)

Until later,

- Justyne

Hate (Micro-Fiction Monday)

I hate the colour black. Actually, that’s not true—he hated the colour black. But since he’s not here to complain about the atmosphere of the room, I’ll hate it on his behalf.

         

Nobody’s commented on my pink sundress yet. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to be rude.  It can’t be because they understand, or they know why I chose this outfit. Nobody knew him better than I did.

                

Maybe it’s because they’re too lost in their own grief to try and understand the thought process behind mine. Maybe they hate the colour black, too—but that’s unlikely. Nobody else has made an effort to break this tradition like I have.

                

It could be because they just don’t care. I don’t recognize half of the people here—to them, I’m just some girl. Why would they care how I dress? They’re hurting just as much as I am.

                

I think the real reason, though, is because they’re too preoccupied with their whispers, and the not-so-secret glances they steal at the ring on my left hand. The one that I showed to no one, the one that didn’t appear until after he was gone. The one I found tucked safely into his jacket pocket, too late to give him my answer.

                

He’d hate this, all of it. Not because of the atmosphere, or the whispers, or the way total strangers talk about him like they were his best friend. He’d hate it because I’m crying.

                

He wouldn’t want me to cry. But that’s something I can’t fix on his behalf.

~~

Until later,

- Justyne

Fakin' It

Have you ever heard the expression, "Fake it 'til you make it"? You know, the idea that if you pretend that you are capable of doing something, or if you pretend that you have a certain quality, eventually you actually will be capable, or will have said desirable quality.

I always thought the idea was bull. Because if I could pretend to do something, I wouldn't be having such a hard time doing it, right?

Well, not right.

One of my resolutions this year was to become more self-confident. I've always been extremely self-conscious, both of my actions and my appearance (although the latter started much more recently than the former), so this was something I wanted to change about myself.

But how do I work on being more self-confident? Well, if you ask anyone on the internet (and I do mean anyone), they'll tell you, at one point, the same thing: "Fake it 'til you make it."

But how are you supposed to fake self confidence?

One of my favourite speeches was one made by Neil Gaiman, at a university graduation ceremony in 2012. Towards the end, he said, "So be wise, because the world needs more wisdom, and if you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would."

If I had known that acting would be a required life skill, I would have invested more time and money in some drama classes.

Earlier this year, I finally caved. "FINE!" I screamed. (Mentally. God, I'm not that crazy.) "I'll do it! I'll play your little make-believe game!" And so I did. And it worked.

As it turns out, after saying things like, "I am so hot damn gorgeous," so many times, you actually start to believe it. When I first started saying it, I was, to an extent, joking...until one day I woke up and decided, "You know what? I am hot damn gorgeous!" (This revelation can be made evident by the fact that my phone is filled with more selfies than I ever thought I would take. Not as many as my sister, but eh, I'm still a work in progress.)

It's no different from when we were kids, and we pretended to be super heroes or princesses or whatever. Make-believe isn't just for kids, y'know.


Until later,

- Justyne

Peaceful (Micro-Fiction Monday)

Blue skies are my favourite thing. Those clear, sunny days, when there’s not a cloud in sight, and all I can see for miles and miles is the deepest, richest blue that I’ve ever seen. I live for those days.

                

I think he does, too, because those are always our most peaceful days—the days that I insist on doing nothing, and drag him down to the nearest valley or field with me. We lie in the grass, and we start up at the sky, and everything is perfect.

                

He loves it. I know he does. He just would never admit it.

                

“Can we go back, now?” he whispers in my ear. Which isn’t a hard thing to do, really, as the side of my head is brushing up against his shoulder. I could hear him breathing a few seconds ago, before he broke the silence with his annoying question.

                

“Not yet,” I whisper in reply. “Just a little longer.”

                

“But...it’s boring.”

               

  “It’s peaceful.”

                

“Yeah, and ‘peaceful’ is boring.”

                

I sigh and sit up. I open my mouth, about to protest, when a battle cry echoes through the sky, interrupting me.

                 

He sits up beside me, alert, hand reaching for the blade lying on the ground beside him. At least a dozen or so armed warriors come bursting out of the forest, the silver metal of the blades glinting in the sunlight.

                

Of course they would do this today. Of course.

                

“Come on,” he says quickly. His hand is on my arm, now, hoisting me up and ushering me backward. “Let’s go.”

                

Just before we break into a run, though, I can’t help but smirk as I eye him. “What did you just say about boring?”

                

He doesn’t reply.

~~

Until later,

- Justyne

10 Quotes That I Absolutely Love

Every now and then, I come across a quote--be it from the internet or a book or whatever--that I love oh-so-very-much that I just HAVE to write it down.

I now present to you ten of these quotes, in no particular order.

~~

"...and I decided that I would do my best in future not to write books just for the money. If you didn't get the money, then you didn't have anything. If I did work I was proud of, and I didn't get the money, at least I'd have the work." - Neil Gaiman, Make Good Art 

"I know you're not perfect. But it's a person's imperfections that make them perfect for someone else." - Stephanie Perkins, Lola and the Boy Next Door 

"Writing isn't about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it's about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It's about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Getting happy." - Stephen King 

"The truth is this: successful writers don't have more time than you. They MAKE time to write." - S.J. Scott

"For any one of us our forever could end in an hour, or a hundred years from now. ... If your forever was ending tomorrow, would this be how you'd want to have spent it?" - Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever 

"Life is full of screw-ups. You're supposed to fail sometimes. It's a required part of human existence." - Sarah Dessen, Along for the Ride

"Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else." - Gloria Steinem

"Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." - Neil Gaiman, Coraline 

"I am here to tell you that if you don't feel ready for university at the age of eighteen, there is always time to go back should you ever want to. I am here to tell you that having a well-paid job that is so often glamorised by the media and 'career advisers' at school is not the answer to happiness if it is not what you want to do." - Emma Blackery, YOU ARE NOT YOUR PARENTS

"All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney

What's your favourite quote?

Until later,

- Justyne

Excused (Micro-Fiction Monday)

My heart beat pounds incessantly in my ears. I’m panting—no, more like gasping for breath. My lungs are desperately grabbing onto any tiny wisp of air they can, burning like fire in my chest. I’ve never ran so much in my life. Maybe if I had known I would, I would have tried to prepare a little beforehand.

                

But I didn’t know. I didn’t ask for this. As soon as the thought passes through my mind, I realize what a cliché it is. I’m a cliché. That doesn’t seem particularly fair.

                

I trip over something. A twig, a rock...hell, maybe nothing. Maybe my legs just can’t support my weight anymore. Maybe I don’t want them to. Either way, I’m soaring through the air, and colliding roughly with the ground beneath me. What little air I had left in my lungs is gone, now, rushing out as the numb pain stabs at my chest.

                

The heavy footsteps crunch through the dead leaves and twigs behind me. I gasp for breath, my lungs greedily sucking in the oxygen, but I don’t move.

                

My mother was the one who told me what I was. She told me I was the “chosen one”, that my destiny was to save the world from the evil that threatened it. I thought she was making it up. Years later, the elders of the village confirmed it. I almost warmed up to the idea, once. I thought it might be nice, being known as a hero.

                

But they were wrong. I’m not a hero, destiny or not. I’m a coward, waiting for the blade of a sword to excuse me from my duties.

~~

Until later,

- Justyne

Mid-Year Resolutions

Remember back in December, when we all made those optimistic resolutions for the new year? Remember when we promised ourselves that we would work out more, or be a nicer person, or finally finish that project we started 6.5 years ago?  Remember that? That probably seems like a distant memory now, huh. Now we've all returned to our old ways of marathoning Netflix shows, being cynical, and putting off that project for another 365 days.

And look--surprise, surprise, once the new year rolls around yet again, your resolutions are the exact same as the year before. And if they're different, it's only because you gave up and decided to pursue something else--oh, don't give me that look. It's true, and you know it. (If, by some miracle, it's not, then it's only because you are some mystical creature, documented in legend alongside the unicorn.)

This year, I developed a new mindset for New Year's Resolutions. Every year prior, I viewed them as a habit to start right as soon as January 1st hit--if I missed a day, then the resolution would be broken, and I would be considered a failure. I never lasted more than a day or two--I think my longest record was probably a week, and I'm still convinced that that was a fluke. This, it seems, did nothing other than make me feel bad about myself for being unable to turn my life around in a day.

So this year, I split my normal resolutions into two different categories: "Resolutions" and "Goals". My "Resolutions" would now be restricted to habits I wished to form in the coming year--for example, to stop procrastinating, to live a healthier lifestyle, to be a nicer person, etc etc. My "Goals", on the other hand, are exactly what they sound like--projects or tasks that I wanted to have done by the end of the year. For example, to complete the rough draft of a manuscript, to finish a certain amount of concept art for a graphic novel or other visual project, to start a new blog, etc etc.

The thing both my resolutions and goals have in common is that neither of them have to be finished right on January 1st. The goals, obviously, are going to be things that I can't finish in a day, which is kind of the point. I've given myself the whole year to do them. But the same goes for my resolutions--if, on January 2nd, I fail to act in accordance to a resolution, that's totally fine. It's just one day, not a complete failure. Obviously I want to start off the year strong--if my resolution is to blog every day, I don't want to wait until March to start doing it. But the idea is to keep working on it. As long as I've formed the habit by year's end, I'll consider it a success.

One day, when I was looking up different ways to stop procrastinating (which we all know was just another way for me to procrastinate, let's be honest), I came across a tip. Somebody suggested to start your day over at 2 pm--if you've spent the morning / early afternoon wasting time on Facebook or YouTube or whatever, don't let the rest of the day go to waste. Refocus your attention to the tasks that need it, and treat 2 pm like the start of a new day.

I liked that tip. I felt that it applied to me, as someone who eagerly brushes off the rest of the day as "wasted" after spending just a tad too much time on social media in the morning. So I thought, why not apply it to my New Year's Resolutions?

Recently, I dug up my resolutions and goals for 2014. Some of them I had neglected slightly--like reading every night (resolution) and completing a finished, revised and edited manuscript (goal). Some I had forgotten about entirely, like becoming more self-confident (resolution) and learning how to manage my time better. (I listed this last one as a goal, but it seems to be more of a resolution, now that I think about it.) And a couple I simply don't have any interest in pursuing any longer--like getting my license / a car. (Ha! HA HA! 2013 Me was funny.)

It's August, now. (Even though it was JUST March like two days ago I swear to God.) We have entered the second half of the year--the 2 pm of 2014. It's time to re-evaluate and re-focus...and for me, that means quite a bit of work.


What were your 2014 resolutions? Have you been triumphant (so far), or have they fallen back, forgotten and left to collect dust? And if they have...are you willing to dig them up again?

Until later,

- Justyne

Shelves

How do you know when to shelve a story?

I've been thinking about this for a few days, now. The story I'm currently working on, the one I've been working on for a solid year and a half, is dragging me down. I've started and re-started the second draft numerous times, written a couple different plot outlines, changed the story entirely from what it was and changed it back again. And still, I feel like my characters are flat, the plot is boring and uninteresting, the world unrealistic and just....meh.

Meh. That's a good word. The story, right now, is just one blob of meh.

It seems like every time I work on it, I get frustrated. I get frustrated with the overwhelming amount of possibilities one second, and the lack thereof the next. I get frustrated because, in theory, it's a good story. In my mind, it's a great story. That story just won't form itself on the screen in front of me.

I know writing isn't always easy--trust me, I know--but is it supposed to feel so...forced, every time I sit down with it? Is it supposed to make me want to tear out my hair and toss my computer out the window?

I feel like I should take a break from it, but I have taken a break from it. I took several months away from it, and before that I took just about a full year away from it. How long am I supposed to wait?


Maybe I'll take a few days away from it, and work on one of my other many projects for the time being. I've been muddling around with this for the past couple of weeks--I need some time to clear my head.

Until later,

- Justyne