Colour

I spend more time daydreaming than anything else. More than writing, more than Sims, more than the time I waste on every social media site combined. I do it at night, as I'm falling asleep, and in the morning before I can be bothered to get out of bed. I do it when I'm commuting to and from work; hell, I do it while I'm working. I have enormous dreams and countless fantasies, all playing out in the confinds of my mind. There's a reason most of my internet screen names are "day-dreamer-101". It's the biggest and best way to describe my personality.

I also consider it to be super fundamentally important to my life and identity as a writer.

I've talked before about the reason I became a writer, but I only briefly touched on how I really got from watching and fantasizing about Sailor Moon to writing my own story inspired by it. Before there were words, typed into existence on my family's computer, there were daydreams.

Do you know how many times I dreamt up my first story before I actually wrote it down? Dozens, at least. Hell, the only reason I wrote it down at all was because the story changed every time I played through it in my head. I just wanted to remember what pieces I had already put together--the idea of actually being a writer came later.

Before writing, there was daydreaming. It's been the constant in my life, the thing that defines me better than anything else. It's the reason I read so much, why I get so emotionally invested in these fictional stories, why my dreams are as big and as bright as they are. It's my method for getting through a stubborn case of writer's block, the way I envision a story before I start it, and the reason I'm able to tolerate long commute times. It's the most productive form of procrastination I have.

When you're pursuing any sort of creative career, you need a big imagination--and what better sign of a big imagination than the ability to daydream so colourfully?

My imagination is one of my proudest qualities. I'm grateful that I'm able to dream as big as I did as a child, that this sometimes cruel world has not yet broken me down like it has others. It's not pure determination that fuels me to keep trying--it's the idea that it's possible, that any dream I can cook up can come true.

One of my favourite quotes

Without imagination, the world can be a very grey place. I'd much rather see it in colour.

Fakin' It

Have you ever heard the expression, "Fake it 'til you make it"? You know, the idea that if you pretend that you are capable of doing something, or if you pretend that you have a certain quality, eventually you actually will be capable, or will have said desirable quality.

I always thought the idea was bull. Because if I could pretend to do something, I wouldn't be having such a hard time doing it, right?

Well, not right.

One of my resolutions this year was to become more self-confident. I've always been extremely self-conscious, both of my actions and my appearance (although the latter started much more recently than the former), so this was something I wanted to change about myself.

But how do I work on being more self-confident? Well, if you ask anyone on the internet (and I do mean anyone), they'll tell you, at one point, the same thing: "Fake it 'til you make it."

But how are you supposed to fake self confidence?

One of my favourite speeches was one made by Neil Gaiman, at a university graduation ceremony in 2012. Towards the end, he said, "So be wise, because the world needs more wisdom, and if you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would."

If I had known that acting would be a required life skill, I would have invested more time and money in some drama classes.

Earlier this year, I finally caved. "FINE!" I screamed. (Mentally. God, I'm not that crazy.) "I'll do it! I'll play your little make-believe game!" And so I did. And it worked.

As it turns out, after saying things like, "I am so hot damn gorgeous," so many times, you actually start to believe it. When I first started saying it, I was, to an extent, joking...until one day I woke up and decided, "You know what? I am hot damn gorgeous!" (This revelation can be made evident by the fact that my phone is filled with more selfies than I ever thought I would take. Not as many as my sister, but eh, I'm still a work in progress.)

It's no different from when we were kids, and we pretended to be super heroes or princesses or whatever. Make-believe isn't just for kids, y'know.


Until later,

- Justyne

The Story (WFMAD Day 6)

This month, I'm participating in a writing challenge called "Write Fifteen Minutes a Day", or WFMAD. To complete this challenge, I will be taking fifteen minutes or more (probably more) to post a new blog post every day in September. If you're tuning in late and would like to catch up, you can find the first blog post here, or skim through the links in the archive to the right.



If I've made anything clear in the six months (yes, six months) since I started this blog, it's that I love, love, love writing. But it occurred to me, earlier today, that I have yet to really explain why I love it so much.

Well, you're about to find out.

Have you ever found a book, or a tv show, or a movie, or virtually any kind of story that had you so sucked in that you weren't even aware of the real world moving around you? Have you ever finished some epic tale, and moved through your life for the following few days as though you were in a dream?

I'll admit, I probably allow myself to get too emotionally invested in these stories. After the Castle season 5 finale back in May, I was literally rolling on the floor because I could not handle the stuff that went down in that episode.

Put simply, I am a fangirl. (Hence why I have a Tumblr account. Tumblr is a hub for fangirls.)

But the most interesting part of all of this is that, despite the fact that these characters, these stories, these events are completely fictional, we can still allow ourselves to care. We allow ourselves to be absorbed into these imagined worlds and universes, to root for the people, to become so overwhelmed with happiness and sadness and anger and love that isn't actually ours to experience.

But that's the thing. It is ours.

I'll be blunt, sometimes reality really sucks. There are bills to pay, classes to attend, a job to excel in...we're expected to balance so many different aspects of our lives that sometimes all we want to do is just crawl in bed and stay there. Life is hard. I won't deny that.

But these stories...they're our escape. Our escape into another reality; sometimes even a more preferred one. They help influence us, and change our lives.

If you're like me, you're sure to have that one book that you've read a million times. That book that you recommend to every single person you encounter; the book that you've memorized just about every word of, and never get tired of cracking it open, just one more time. Sharing that book with others--seeing their faces as they, too, fall in love with the characters--is one of the best feelings in the world.

And for me, writing is like that feeling--only ten times better.

For a period of time, no matter how short, I get to immerse myself into a whole other world of my imagination. I get to BECOME my character; their friends become my friends, their worries are my worries. I get to experience things that I could never once hope to experience before, ever. I get to travel between worlds, fight in a rebellion, fall in love over and over and over again. I get to experience heartbreak, and joy, and overwhelming sadness that eats me up inside. And for a moment--just a single, fleeting moment--I get to forget about everything that happens in my less-than-average life. I get to forget about my homework, and my chores, and my job. I get to accomplish the impossible, to see this world and so many others through another pair of eyes.

I get to escape, and live, without consequence.

Sure, I always come back. I have to. I still have to manage my relationships, answer emails, make money, do laundry. I still have to stay connected to this world, to keep studying and fighting on, even when I would sometimes rather just curl up and ignore everything.

But my world is always waiting for me. Always waiting to comfort me, to allow me to fly, to dream, to experience the happy endings that reality says are impossible.

And that, my dear readers, is why I write.

Until later,

- Justyne