MFM: Sticks n Stones

I’ve fallen from bikes, from rollerblades, from ice skates, from shoes. I’ve been scraped and sprained and battered and bruised. I fear the sensation of falling, and crashing, and tumbling, and the aching that will inevitably follow.

But while I may fear the sticks and stones and broken bones, I don’t remember them. I don’t remember the pain of a tattoo needle until I’m already in the chair. I don’t remember the sting of pavement carving off skin until I’m already on the ground. I don’t remember the force of a lego piece until it is already underfoot. I forget these things, diminish these things, wince once at the pain and move on.

But someone called me annoying once, and I have believed it ever since.

And someone criticized my excitement once, and I have subdued myself ever since.

And someone listed all my flaws once, and I've had them branded in my brain ever since.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are easier to memorize.

A Graduate FAQ

Let me paint you a picture: it's my final day of my undergrad career. My sleep-deprived ass is in the school library, running purely on the caffeine pumping through my bloodstream and the adrenaline of powering through 1200 words in four hours. I wrote an exam this morning, I have one more tiny assignment to do this afternoon, and I've just (miracously, with thirty minutes to spare), finished my take home exam. I save the document, close the program, and open up the web browser to submit the exam.

The file is gone.

I open every folder (every. folder.). I search the entire PC. I reopen Word to check the “Recently Opened” tab. Nothing.

Naturally, I ambush the circulation desk in a frenzy, limbs flying as I explain to the blinking clerks why my life is currently exploding before my very eyes. After ten harrowing minutes, the tech guy was called, and it was then I learned that Firefox has a top secret “temporary download folder” that is only accessible through the browser itself. (Firefox, please.) The document was submitted, I finished my last assignment, and then proceeded to go home and pass out for a little while.

But that was five weeks ago, and now it’s over. I’m officially* a University Graduate™. And as with any graduation, I’ve already fallen into the routine of answering the same sequence of questions over and over (and over) again. So in the interest of efficiency (and saving my sanity), I have compiled some of these questions into one location for everyone to peruse at their convenience.

(*pending my actual convocation on June 13th.)

How does it feel to be done?

In all honesty, I don't think it's entirely sunk in yet that I'm done, and it probably won't until fall rolls around and I'm not stuck in a classroom somewhere. (Or when November hits and the government starts taking its money back by force.)

What are you graduating with?

My five years of torture have earned me a Bachelor of Arts in English (with emphasis on Creative Writing) and a minor in Human Geography.

And what can you do with that?

• Editor
• Copywriter (ie: advertising)
• Technical writer
• Some kind of library job, although most require a whole other degree that I don't want to pay for.

What’s the minor good for?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Will you ever get a masters degree?

I'd be lying if I said I hadn't considered it. I learned a lot in my creative writing classes, and didn’t really get to dedicate as many credits to the craft as I would have liked. But let's cool our jets for like thirty seconds--I need a breather before I even THINK about jumping head first into another two years of mental breakdowns.

Student debt is also disgusting and I’m not really in the mood to double it.

Are you going to work for Disney again?

....maybe.

Are you published yet?

Hush.

So what's next?

I just...want a job. So somebody hire me. Please. P l e a s e.

In the meantime, I'll be here! Blogging away for anyone who cares to listen.


Until later,

- Justyne

Every Book I Read in 2018 (aka The Most Subjective Ranking Ever, with No Explanation)

I stopped doing book reviews for several reasons, but the biggest reason was time: I lacked the time both for the reviews themselves, and the time to actually read the number of books necessary to maintain any form of consistency.

So instead, for 2018, I kept an ongoing document of every book I read throughout the year and rated them in order from my most favourite to my least favourite. For the most part I rated them as I finished them, but I also went back and reordered them after reflecting on them further. I didn't really have any sort of system for rating these books--they're based mostly on how much I enjoyed them, because I find that my subjective enjoyment is the only real way to compare a poetry collection to a historical fiction to a microfiction collection to a YA rom-com to a--well, you get the idea.

For added fun, I also decided to colour code them! Purple is for pure leisure reading, green is for mandatory uni reading, and blue is for books that weren't assigned for uni, but that I read to fulfill some sort of class assignment.

We're starting from the bottom-up, with #23 being my least favourite and #1 being my absolute favourite. A poor ranking does not necessarily mean it was bad, but that other books were better.

(I mean, some of them were bad, but I'm not here to spill tea.)


23. Fox by Margaret Sweatman (1991)

22. All That She Can See by Carrie Hope Fletcher (2017)

21. Rosie Dunne (also published under the name Love, Rosie) by Cecilia Ahern (2005)

20. Girls Like Us by Gail Giles (2014)

19. How It Went Down by Kekla Magoon (2014)

18. Seen Reading by Julie Wilson (2012)

17. He Said, She Said by Kwame Alexander (2013)

16. Fly on the Wall by E. Lockhart (2006)

15. Waking in Time by Angie Stanton (2017)

14. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon (1991)

13. That Inevitable Victorian Thing by E.K. Johnston (2017)

12. The Wars by Timothy Findley (1977)

11. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie (2007)

10. Story: Substance, Structure, Style, and the Principles of Screenwriting by Robert McKee (1997)

9. The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories by Angela Carter (1979)

8. A Million Worlds with You by Claudia Gray (2016)

7. Exit, Pursued by a Bear by E.K. Johnston (2016)

6. Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes (2015)

5. Hamilton: The Revoltion by Lin-Manuel Miranda and Jeremy McCarter (2016)

4. Fan Art by Sarah Tregay (2014)

3. Ash by Malinda Lo (2009)

2. Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery (1908)

1. The Princess Saves Herselve in This One by Amanda Lovelace (2016)


Book reviews were fun for a while, but going forward I hope to focus on improving my Friday and Monday content. (Y'know, when school isn't beating me over the head with a flaming stick.)

Until later,

- Justyne




(I'm sorry I meant to post this a whole lot earlier.)

MFM: Connection

How many times had he taken this for granted? The always constant signal, the instant nature of knowledge and conversation—a world and lifestyle he had been born into. His whole life, he had used it without question, never noticing how much he needed it until it wasn’t there.

He called her over and over and over:

Voicemail.

Voicemail.

Try again later.

(But without words now, there wouldn’t be a later.)

Layers of cement separated them, strangling the connection in more ways than one. They had said goodbye before dusk, she had left before dawn. It was easier. But too late, he had changed his mind. So now he ran, phone glued to his ear.

Voicemail.

Voicemail.

Try again.

(And again, and again.)

He reached the platform as the train picked up speed. He could see her clearly, focused on her own screen, looking up just in time for eye contact before vanishing into the shrouded tunnel.

Maps are only useful if you know your destination; they had never discussed where she was going, only that she was leaving. Still he stumbled, breathless, to the routes plastered on the wall. He didn’t know what he needed; a sign, a clue, a hint.

What he needed, in the end, is what he got—a stop, circled crudely on the glass with marker, accompanied by her handwriting:

FIND ME.

So he did.

Pet Peeves (BEDS 415)

OKAY GUYS LET'S COMPLAIN ABOUT STUFF.

1. Books whose covers have little / nothing to do with the actual content itself. 

I mean just...why? Why you gotta have some random chick on the cover? What does this bracelet even mean? WHAT IS GOING ON?!?

Additonally...

2. Books with random girls / guys / faces in general on the cover.

Do these people get recognized? Like, on the street? Like, "Oh, hey, weren't you the girl on the cover of The Selection?" This is something I wonder about daily.

But actually, it kinda weirds me out.

3. People who crap on other people for their interests.

JUST LIKE?? DON'T??? Like you're welcome to disagree with me, that's chill, that's whatever. But if you're not even watching / experiencing / taking part in whatever it is that I'm currenlty obsessed with...you don't have to crap all over it. I mean, really. You're not even discussing the actual content, you're just taking it at face value and throwing it in the trash, along with all my respect for you.

4. Grocery store patrons who DON'T. PUT. THE. DIVIDER. BETWEEN. THEIR. GROCERIES.

I don't care how obvious you think the separation between your order and the next is. As a cashier, I also don't care who puts the divider down--but for the love of God, those plastic sticks exist for a reason.

(I could probably write a novel detailing all of the grocery store / retail scenarios that anger me, if I'm being honest...)

5. People who crowd the gate at an airport before their zone has been called.

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND. This does not speed up the process. It will not get you to your destination faster. Last time I was in Orlando, people were crowding the gate so bad that people exiting other planes couldn't get to freaking baggage claim because of the utter mob that was lingering outside the gate--and boarding hadn't even started yet.

An airplane is not rushed seating, guys. I promise, you'll get the same seat either way. All you're doing is likely causing the airport staff a hell of a lot of unnecessary stress.

There are almost definitely more things that tick me off, but we'll just leave it there for now.

Until later,

- Justyne

Okay But Where Did I Actually Go All Summer (BEDS 414)

So I think we can all figure out why I stopped blogging last year. School is stressful (meaning: torture), it got the best of me (meaning: chewed me up and spit me right into the trash can), et cetera. University ain't easy, folks. It happens.

But then summer hit. I finished my last exam, slept for 11 hours, and I was free! But I still didn't post anything.

Is this not what the summer is for? To use your sudden freedom to do all of the things you didn't have time for during the other three seasons? Shouldn't all of my free time been dedicated solely to my craft?

Well...no. Not this time. Because I have better, and more exciting things to do. And, as I returned to the blog this month, I realized that I never recorded (meaning: bragged about) what those things were here on the blog. So...here we go. Mental drumroll, please.

I worked....in Disney World.

Once again, for the people in the back: I worked in mother freaking Disney World.

It was an absolutely incredible summer (albeit spent working in an ugly costume), and between my shifts and my days off spent in the park, blogging kind of fell to the wayside. I still wrote, of course, both in my journal and otherwise. But I never quite gained the momentum or motivation to get this dusty old thing up and running again.

But now, we're back at it again--if only to provide me a distraction from the new university term. Will it last?

Well, we can only hope.

Until later,

- Justyne

Review: Red: A Haida Manga by Michael Nicoll Yahgulanaas (BEDS 413)

Of all the comics I read for my Canadian Comics class last year, this one was the most unique--and also the most confusing, and the hardest to follow.

I remember very little about the actual story. Red's sister gets kidnapped, and he becomes obsessed with getting revenge. The details are blurry, but that's the basic gist of it. If you want a better understanding, this book needs to be read twice. At least.

I can appreciate what the cartoonist was trying to do. He was pulling from traditional Haida art styles to create the comic, using thick borders that, when you pull the pages apart and rearrange them together, form a larger piece of traditional art. But not only did the swirling borders make it harder to follow the linear narrative, but the art style within the borders made the events confusing to understand. Half the time, I had no idea what was going on. I was mostly making sense of what was happened based on the dialogue and other texts in the book.

Tone: lol what just happened

Enjoyment rating: 2.7

Shelf life: The only reason I haven't sold it yet is because I keep forgetting to bring it back to the uni bookstore for buyback.

TL;DR: Hard to follow, wouldn't recommend.

Until later,

- Justyne