Post-NaNo

YES! It may have taken 12k on the final day, I may have just squeaked by at 11 pm, and I may not be entirely done the story (even after using two NaNo's to write it...shh), but I did it! As you can clearly see from my little stats bar on the right, I (somehow) managed to pull through with a grand total of 50,568 words, thus winning my second year in a row.

Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.

The thing I love most about NaNoWriMo is that it's almost like a school year. At the beginning, you're inspired and motivated. You sit down every day and you write those 1,667 words like nobody's business because gosh darn it, this year will be different! But then, as the month goes on, you fall out of the groove a little bit. Those 1,667 daily words turn into 1,600, then 1,000, then less and less until you're lucky if you get any words down at all.

The end of the month is the best--or the best, depending on how you look at it. The clock is ticking and there's all this pressure and while you're not necessarily scared of failing you just don't want to because you committed to this, gosh darn it, and if you don't follow through you will never live it down. Be the circumstances good or bad, though, some people--myself included--against all odds, manage to pull through and write thousands of words in a day.

I think I can safely say that November 30th will always be my most productive writing day.

The only problem is that after all is said and done, I'm left feeling exhausted. Say what you will, but writing 50,000 words in a month is hard--especially when over 1/5 of it is written on the final day. (I never was too good at pacing myself.) The post-NaNo period is always spent by me doing nothing except playing Sims. (And catching up on all of the TV shows I missed during November.) Seems pretty counter-productive, when you think about it; spending such a long period of time working hard, then spending a couple weeks doing nothing.

But you know what? I think I deserve it. As do all of you other wrimos; whether you wrote 50,000, or only managed 100, consider yourself a winner. You dedicated a month to writing; now dedicate three hours to playing Sims.


Until later,

- Justyne

Deadlines (WFMAD Day 16)

Let's face it: the only thing that could ever motivate me to finish my homework was the looming arrival of the test or assignment due date. (And if I'm being honest, even that didn't motivate me a whole lot this past year.) Deadlines, it seems, provide great external motivation.

The problem, I find, is that I suck at applying deadlines to my own personal projects. I tend to overestimate my abilities, and how much I can actually get done in a set amount of time. So when I do set deadlines, they pass easily without my project or goal being completed, which leaves me feeling frustrated and dejected and even more unmotivated than I was before.

The only exception to this, it seems, is this blog.

Aside from the brief period of time after the school year (in which I seemed to be unmotivated to do anything other than play Sims), I've been really good at updating this blog. I said I'd update every Friday, and for the most part, I've nailed it, every time. Even now, in the midst of a blog-a-day challenge, I have yet to fail. (Unless you count posting after midnight failing, which I don't. Cut me some slack!)

So what's the difference between this, and my other projects? Why can't my deadlines be as successful for everything else?

Maybe my other projects are simply too big. Maybe my deadlines are unrealistic; the work too big to complete in the given time. Maybe I need to develop a new routine, or a new method to working on my projects.

Or maybe, I just need to dive right back into it.

I'll be honest; now that I'm taking a break from school, and working mostly full time, the pressure is on. To make real progress on my writing, my art, and other creative projects. Before, with my focus always on school, this had always just seemed like a hobby.

It's not just a hobby anymore.

So maybe, despite all the times I failed before, it's time to give it another shot.


Until later,

- Justyne

An Epiphany of Sorts

Stop checking your calendars, I realize that it's not Friday. Consider this a bonus post for not forming an angry mob and chasing me away from the internet yet. I appreciate you for putting up with my lack of blogging skills.

So buckle up, readers. This post is gonna be long.

I've been in sort of a slump lately. And by "lately," I really mean the last two or three years or so.

I've been writing less. I've been stressing lots. About The Future (dun dun dun), mostly. I realize I'm only in my first year of university, but I just haven't figured out what I want to do with my life yet. (And before you mention writing, just calm your hormones for a second. I'll get to that shortly.) Nothing in university has really caught my attention thus far. Every time I think I've figured it out--English teacher, copy editor, homeless hobo in a magical flying cardboard box--I go and change my mind. (Although I'm still hoping that magical cardboard box thing will work out, that would be pretty freaking awesome.) 

I'm also frustrated. Very frustrated. Mostly with myself.

I had a lengthy conversation with my dad on the phone last night, mostly talking about The Future (dun dun dun). The main topic of discussion was whether or not I should take the year off from university next year (see the reasons above). His main concern was that I would end up playing Sims all the time, instead of doing something productive.

I'm not saying that this isn't true. In fact, this is probably the most likely of any scenario I could possibly come up with.

But that's what really frustrates me.

When did I get so lazy? Seriously! I've always procrastinated, but never this bad. I used to write literally all the time. I used to do productive things in my free time--something that often seems like a foreign concept to me now. When did all of this change?

So I started thinking. I've spent most of today thinking, to be honest. I thought back to when I spent all of my time writing. I thought about how it felt to write--how I felt then, and how I feel now in comparison, when I'm hardly writing at all.

I still love writing. That much hasn't changed. I love writing as much as I did when I was nine years old and first started putting words to paper.

But that's not the real issue here.

So I thought about what's different. I thought about when it changed--when I stopped writing so much, and, most importantly, I thought about why.

Because that, my dear readers, is the million dollar question.

So after all these hours of thinking--in the shower, in my bed, on the couch while watching television--I think I've figured it out. My problem, you see, is that I've been thinking too "realistically."

And that is a problem that can apply to everybody--not just writers.

I was confident when I was a kid. I thought that there was nothing that I couldn't do. I was so sure that I would be published before I even graduated high school; that I would become a famous author, that everyone would read and love my writing. I was so sure that everything would work out.

I lost sight of that. I started doubting myself. I started doubting my abilities as a writer. I got too caught up in the money aspect:

"Writing isn't the easiest industry to enter." 

"You can't make a living off of it right away." 

"You need a back-up plan."

I'm not saying that these things aren't true. What I'm saying is that I got so caught up in these things--in my so-called "back-up plan"--that it became my only plan. I forgot about writing altogether.

I don't want that.

This is why I've been in a slump--why I keep changing my mind, flipping directions, unsure of every little decision I make.

Newsflash: no industry is easy to enter. No job is easy to get. There is no career on this planet in which you can walk on up and say, "I want this job" and the employer replies with, "lol okay."

It just doesn't work that way. There's work involved. There are degrees to earn, resumes to build, experience to...well, experience.

Writing is the same way.

A back-up plan is just that--a back-up plan. Something you turn to when your original plan doesn't work out. My problem is that I was so consumed with my back-up plan--with the negative "what-if's"--that I lost sight of what I truly wanted. I've been focusing all of my time and money and worries into a career that my heart's just not in. I gave up on writing; written it off as impossible before I even gave it a chance.

I can't even begin to describe how wrong that is.

I am capable. I've written a 50k+ novel in 30 days. I spent months writing a 200+ page novel when I was in the 8th grade. I had an entire freaking book series planned out when I was 9 years old. People enjoy reading my work, and I enjoy writing it. That is what truly matters.

I need to take back that confidence I had when I was a kid. I need to re-focus my attention on what I want--what I've always wanted. I need to believe that I can do this--because I can. I know I can.

And so can you.

Who knows, maybe I'm just delusional. Maybe it's the optimist in me. But no matter what I end up doing next year--taking a year off and staying at home, travelling the world, becoming a homeless hobo with a magical box (seriously, though, somebody hook me up with that)--I'll be writing. I'll be doing what I love.

So to all of you high school students out there, being pressured to choose what you want to do for the rest of your life--don't worry about it. Take your time. University will always be there, if you need it. Focus on what you love.

Because here's the secret: if you love your work, it doesn't seem like work. My dad taught me that.

(Actually, no, I knew that way before he told me on the phone last night. But he tried, I'll give him that.)

The future doesn't seem so scary now, does it?

Maybe this will inspire you. Maybe it won't. But if you only take one thing away from this post, let it be this:

It should never be, "What if I can't?" It should always, always be, "I can. And I will."

Thanks for your time, guys.

Until later,

- Justyne

Distractions

I have tried writing this blog post several times throughout the day, but I have realized that it is a slightly difficult thing to do when:

A) You have a Sims game open and taunting you from your taskbar.

B) You're going through yet another Sailor Moon phase and you're watching the fifth and final season for the first time. (This is the first time I've had a new episode since I finished the first season in Japanese in grade 9 or 10 and was introduced to several episodes that weren't dubbed into English. I'm excited. Don't judge.)

C) Your friend invite you to watch hockey with them, and despite the fact that you have no interest in hockey whatsoever, you still find yourself amusingly distracted by their screaming and yelling and discussions with other friends invited to watch said game.

D) School has been cancelled due to a blizzard (the second one this week. Welcome to Canada.), and as a result you feel inclined to use this as an excuse to do nothing.

E) You have a Sims game open and taunting you from your taskbar.

I would like to point out, however, that these are not excuses for not getting a blog post up. This is a blog post. It's up. If you would ever so kindly check your calendar, it is still Friday. (Albeit somewhat late on Friday.) So who's laughing now?

(Probably no one.)

Regardless of what they are, distractions are...well, a pain in the butt. They're at the very core of procrastination, and can easily turn a 5-minute break into a 3-hour one. This applies for all things, and not just writing. (But for our purposes, we'll focus on writing.)

Avoiding distractions are....kind of impossible. Something will always come up. Always. Don't bother trying to tell yourself that it won't, because I'm telling you that it will. That's life. That being said, a good system can help you avoid the most notorious of these distractions. (I'm looking at you, Facebook.) Things work differently for everybody, but here's just a few of the things I've picked up this past year:

1) Create a set time to write.

I'm not telling you to schedule every single minute of your day. That's just ridiculous. (And unrealistic. Have you had the pleasure of meeting Life?) I'm saying to make a point of setting aside a certain amount of time every day (or almost every day, I'm not picky) to write, and only write. It doesn't have to be the same time every day; just make sure you put in the effort to write. (I find it easier if I spend my writing time first, before doing anything else.)

This time is your Writing Time. Don't feel inclined to spend an absurd amount of time on it--I settle with a half hour. Less is better than more. When the time runs out, you can always keep going. Just don't stop before it runs out, and you'll be okay.

2) Close that freaking internet browser.

You can even block distracting websites, if you feel so inclined. (Cold Turkey is a fantastic program for PCs.) Just close your browser of choice and don't let yourself re-open it until your writing time has expired. 

3) Turn that phone off.

Or put it on silent, or hide it under your bed. Do you know how much writing time can be wasted just texting somebody? And then you think, "Oh, I'll just check Facebook quickly...Oh, gotta restock my tower (I'm referring to Tiny Tower. Fantastic game for smart phones, but not the point)...Well, now they've texted me again, I have to reply..."

See what I mean? Just hide it. It's only half an hour. I believe in you.

4) Turn on your music.

I tend to have a special playlist dedicated to each project I'm working on, full of songs that best describe the feeling of the story. Make a playlist of songs that work best for you--be them instrumental, upbeat, or super angst-y ballads.  Plug in your headphones, crank up the volume (I cannot be held liable for any loss of hearing that may occur), and....

5) Write!

Distractions are gone. Set up a timer on your phone, or on a website (I don't have any links on hand. If you don't know how to work Google, then I guess you're out of luck), and start writing until either the timer runs out or you run out of steam (whichever comes second).

Will these get rid of every single distraction in your life? No, not really. (See items A-E mentioned above.) But I find that they help. Take the time to find what works for you.

Don't beat yourself up if you can't find time to write absolutely every day. If you have a video / powerpoint presentation and a paper due the next day that you've barely started (that may or may not have been my Wednesday situation), then please, for the love of all that is good in the world, don't worry about writing. It can wait. Believe it or not, there are some things that are more important than writing.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an open Sims game taunting me from my taskbar. Some distractions you just can't avoid.

Until later,

- Justyne

Motivation

We all know what it feels like to lack motivation. To put off a huge paper until the day before it's due, spend 12+ hours slaving away at it until it's somewhat decent, and swear that you will never let this happen again--that next time, you'll start it a good week before, and finish it with time to spare. And then you ignore your promise, putting through the torture of procrastination all over again.

Or maybe that's just me.

It doesn't seem to matter how good my intentions are in the beginning--I just don't have the motivation to start something until mere hours before I'm due to hand it in. It's not that I necessarily want to put it off. It just sort of...happens.

But that shouldn't happen in writing, right? I love writing. I should want to do it every minute of every day. It should be as easy as breathing.

Except....not really.

Am I the only one who has these problems? I do want to write, I really do. It's just....hard, sometimes. There's no motivation.

Last semester, I had motivation. Last semester, I was in a Creative Writing class. I had a new piece of writing due every two weeks. I was always writing, and I loved every second of it.

In November, I had motivation. November is National Novel Writing Month--or NaNoWriMo, for short--a global event in which writers everywhere drop everything they're doing and write a 50,000+ word novel in 30 days. I wrote every day in November, and I had a blast.

But now? I barely write once a week. I'm too busy worrying about homework, and where I'm going to live next year, etc etc. I just don't have the motivation.

But how do I find it?

Everyone has a different way to motivate themselves. Some people bribe themselves with chocolate, or do something special at the end of a busy week for completing a job well done. Some people don't even need any form of external motivation--they work hard just because they like to. (Ambitious jerks.)

For those of you who don't know, I'm a huge fan of the Sims franchise. I started playing the Sims 1 in 2005/2006, and have been hooked ever since. (And by "hooked," I really mean "slightly obsessed.") This past Tuesday, the Sims 3: University Life expansion pack was released. Needless to say I almost peed my pants in excitement.

Problem was, it was released during what happened to be the biggest week of the academic year. I had three papers due, a quiz to study for, and a presentation to start planning. Not exactly my luckiest week. Still, I wanted to play that game. Badly.

So I used it to my advantage. I used it as motivation.

I printed a copy of the cover art and taped it above my desk.

 Every time I felt stressed

or frustrated

or positively overwhelmed with the amount of work I still had to do

I took a post-it, wrote "Friday" on it, and stuck it up around my desk, among the reminders, to-do lists, calendars, and essay tips I already had clogging my work space.

By the time Friday finally hit, I had written the word 44 different times, on 25 different post-its, in 3 different languages and at least 9 different fonts.

And y'know what? It worked. It freaking worked.

I locked away my phone. I stayed off of the internet. And I got stuff done.

Amazing what motivation is actually capable of doing. Now all that's left is to figure out how I can motivate myself to this extent every week--and in terms of writing.

But for now, I'm not worrying about that. I've waited all week. I've been incredibly patient.

Now I've got some Sims to play.


Until later,

- Justyne