Trial and Error

Fact: we, as humans, tend to romanticize things that we have never experienced.

Don't lie to me, I know you've done it, too; especially after you've just finished watching a really good movie, or reading a really good book. You see glimpses of places you've never been to, things you've never done, a way of life you've never known. You can't help but thing, "Wow, it would be so much better to live in that city / in that country / in that time period." In an instant, city dwellers are daydreaming of their dream lives in small country towns, at the same time that those small town residents are dreaming of escaping to the big city.

I feel like the act of romanticizing locations or scenarios tends to be viewed as a negative trait of literature, and sometimes for good reason. We shouldn't make light of normally serious and solemn situations because people who are actually living through these situations can start to feel like their hardships aren't important; that they should be grateful that they were given this opportunity, and that their lives are better for it. In reality, none of these things are always--or even often--true.

But romanticism can't be accomplished by the author themselves, and that's something that I think is important to realize. Every reader perceives and interprets a story differently, based on their own experiences and thoughts and personalities. That's not to say that the author's intent is meaningless; it just doesn't tell the whole story. One story can be experiencd a million different ways, simply by being read by a million different people.

I'm guilty of romanticising things, myself. I'm guilty of reading a book set in NYC and convincing myself that my life would be just so much better, if only I could live there, too. I'm guilty of reading a book set in a small, fictional beach town and convincing myself that growing up in a town like that would have been the best thing ever.

(I find it necessary to point out, now, that I grew up in a fairly small city. I have the general gist of it, and it is not, in fact, the best thing ever. Will this stop me from fantasizing? Probably not.)

My point is, wishing and dreaming and believing that these lives are in some way better than my own doesn't necessarily make it true. Romanticism isn't a bad thing, as long as we treat it right. As long as we don't use it to put a lesser value on our own, real lives.

It reminds me of that expression, about how the grass is always greener on the other side. We always want to move on, to get to the greener pastures; we're never happy with where we are. We should be allowed to dream, yes, and there's nothing wrong with having an ideal life in mind, but we can't put that ideal life up on a pedestal and ignore or rush through the one we're currently living. We can't let our lives be ruled by the thought process of, "My life will be a million times better when __." Instead of waiting for the perfect moment, instead of trying to figure out which path is the best one, we need to just live. Pick a path, and stay on it. Or don't--whichever works.

I've found, recently, that my whole life has been spent dreaming of a different one. I've been convinced that everything would be better once I did this, or finished that, or if only my life was more __. I kept waiting for the path I chose to light up beneath me, to congratulate me on finally discovering the journey that would lead me to the life of my wildest dreams!

But life isn't really like that, is it? I spent so long trying to find the perfect path, the path that would get me from Point A to Point B the fastest, that I totally forgot about the present all together. In reality, there is no "one way" or "best way" to get anywhere. There are just...more ways. If one path isn't working out, you jump the fence, double back and try the next one. And the next one, and the next one, and so on, until you find the one that works.

It's all about trial and error.

Until later,

- Justyne