The Subjectivity of Adulthood

When I was between the ages of ten and twelve, I dreamed of being a grown up; a teenager, with great friends and great classes and a boyfriend. I dreamed of being in clubs, on student council, of being valedictorian, of going on class trips and to parties and becoming a foreign exchange student.

When I was sixteen, I dreamed of being a grown up; a college student, with college classes and college friends and a college boyfriend. I dreamed of going to college parties, living in the dorms with a new roommate, studying and living on coffee. 

Now, I am twenty-one. (Going on twenty-two this year...Lord help me.) And still, I don't feel like a grown up. I am in university, I've been to a university party (for real! It was only the one, but still), I've lived in a dorm and had a roommate and I definitely, DEFINITELY live off of coffee. I've been on a class trip, I've ran for student council, I've had a few great (among many mediocre) classes, and I have great friends. But I still don't feel like a grown up.

I'm in a human geography class this semester (to knock out one of my pesky social science requirements), and within the first few classes, my professor introduced us to a little website called 

The Geography of Youth.

Are all of you familiar with the Humans of New York blog? (Personally, it's one of my favourites.) The Geography of Youth has a similar concept, over a much broader location. They started by travelling around, taking pictures of millenials and asking them the same few questions, both of which would later be uploaded to the website. They've since expanded it, and now internet users all over the globe are able to upload their own self portrait and answer the questions themselves. One of the questions asked is, "Do you consider yourself to be an adult?" Depending on their answer, the interviewee is then asked when they think they became an adult, or when they think they'll become one.

This question was not the focus of the class, and we never discussed the true nature of adulthood. But still, that was the question that I was really drawn to--because how do you know if you're an adult? Am I an adult becasue I live on my own? Am I an adult because I buy groceries and pay bills and graduated high school almost four years ago? (//sobs)

Or is there something that I'm lacking? Am I still just a kid, because I watch Disney movies and read YA and barely know how to cook? Will I become an adult when I graduate university? When (or if) I get a Real Life Adult Job, one where I work Monday to Friday from 9 to 5, every day?

Or will I never actually be a grown up, just forever stuck in this limbo of in-between?

I think adulthood is different for everybody. I go through stages, almost, of whether or not I actually feel like an adult. Most of the time, it's the latter--I'll be sitting at home in a onesie, playing Sims and pigging out on chips and I'll feel as far from grown up as possible. In general, when I'm living my everyday life, I don't feel very grown up.

But then I'll have a very small moment, a second of realization that this very Grown Up thing to do has become a normal part of my life. Like when I catch myself pushing a shopping cart through a grocery store, flyer in hand, or when I cook an actual meal, with meat and veggies and things that take more than a minute and a half in the microwave to prepare. It's like a sudden hit of, "Wow. Holy crap. I am so grown up right now."

Objectively speaking, I'm a legal adult. Subjectively, it's a lot more complicated than that.

What about you? Do you consider yourself to be an adult? Why or why not?

Until later,

- Justyne