In Which I Am Basically a Giant 5-Year-Old

In my mind, I am eternally stuck at the age of seventeen.

I'm not sure why, exactly. I'm not the same person I was then--not really. But for whatever reason, I always have to pause for a moment before I answer the question, "How old are you?" I'm constantly forgetting that I'm no longer a teenager; I am, in fact, an adult. (Although whether I'm a fully-functioning adult is still a topic that's up for debate.)

I forget how old my sisters are, too--they're still eight and thirteen in my mind, instead of eleven and (nearly) sixteen. I also refuse to believe that 2007 was 8 yeras ago, and that the Spongebob Squarepants movie is over ten years old. (And now, there's another one! Where has the time gone?)

I have this thing against time, I think. I would rather sit in my room and watch the Suite Life of Zack and Cody on repeat rather than face the fact that my friends are turning 21 all around me. I'd rather watch Disney movies than do Real Life Adult Things, like go to work and pay bills. (Ew.)

Maybe I'm not really 17, actually. I'm more like 5. One giant 5-year-old, who enjoys watching Phineas and Ferb and still occasionally dabbles in the online world of Neopets, like it's still 2005. (Okay, so maybe I'm closer to 9. But you get the idea.)

But isn't there something almost liberating about embracing your inner child? Aren't I, an adult, allowed to believe in love at first sight, in happy endings prevailing, in the joy and satisfaction of watching cartoon on an early Saturday morning? I want to freely chase after the ice cream truck on a hot summer afternoon, and go to Disney World so many times that the staff know me by name. I want to operate under the belief that everything will work out in the end, no matter how ridiculous or flaw-induced the plan may be.

I think Adult Life is constantly in danger of being dull. There's too much stress in being realistic, in making smart decisions, in being a Mature and Responsible Adult. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

It's just boring.

Does it have to be one or the other? Do I have to choose between being a productive member of society and singing Disney duets with myself when no one is home? Do I have to choose between expecting the worst and having just the tiiiiiniest bit of faith that, somehow, everything will work out?

Yeah, I saw Frozen in theatres 6 times. (At least. I may or may not have lost count.) I invest more of my time watching cartoons than I do watching the sitcoms that grown-ups watch. I got too excited meeting Tiana and Naveen in the Magic Kingdom, and I still like to pretend that I'm a Sailor Scout.

The world is clogged with enough negativity. I think it needs a little touch of childhood joy.


Until later,

- Justyne